The Hymns and Carols of Christmas

Spammer's Hell

By Matt Magnasco

To The Tune of Jingle Bells

MIDI / Noteworthy Composer

Dashing through the 'Net,
On ISDN line,
O'er the router's brain,
LARTing passes time.
The spam has got to go,
Sure as hell ain't right.
What fun it is to laugh and sing a LARTing song tonight.

Oh! Spammer's Hell! Spammer's Hell!
Spammer got the LART.
Oh what fun is to see
That the spammer can not farrrrr-rrrrrrrt.

A day or two ago,
He thought he'd surf the 'Net.
He'd go start the spam,
And make his million yet.
The modem was real fast,
Spammer had no clue,
He spammed the postmaster
And then went to spam you.

Oh! Spammer's Hell! Spammer's Hell!
Spammer got the LART.
Oh what fun is to see
That the spammer can not farrrrr-rrrrrrrt.

A day or two ago,
The story I must tell,
The abuse guy stopped the spam,
And gave the spammer hell.
"Free speach!" the luser cried,
"No way!" said nah-nah-e [1]
He threatened to sue them all,
And his lawyer laughed with glee.

Oh! Spammer's Hell! Spammer's Hell!
Spammer got the LART.
Oh what fun is to see
That the spammer can not farrrrr-rrrrrrrt.

Ron Ritzman did his troll.
We fell for it again.
The next time he jokes with us,
We will surely pound him thin.
A frozen trout was named
The implement of use.
Guard the exits -- no escape!
Next time we'll use a noose!

Oh! Spammer's Hell! Spammer's Hell!
Spammer got the LART.
Oh what fun is to see
That the spammer can not farrrrr-rrrrrrrt.

[1] NANAE

 

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