The Hymns and Carols of Christmas

My Favorite Things – Senior Version

A Humorous Parody
Words: Anonymous
Music: “My Favorite Things,” Richard Rodgers
Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,
Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,
Bundles of magazines tied up in string,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Cadillacs and cataracts and hearing aids and glasses,
Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,
Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,
These are a few of my favourite things.
When the pipes leak, When the bones creak,
When the knees go bad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don't feel so bad.
Hot tea and crumpets, and corn pads for bunions,
No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,
Bathrobes and heat pads and hot meals they bring,
These are a few of my favourite things.
Back pains, confused brains, and no fear of sinnin',
Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin',
And we won't mention our short shrunken frames,
When we remember our favorite things.
When the joints ache, when the hips break,
When the eyes grow dim,
Then I remember the great life I've had,
And then I don't feel so bad.

Note:
These lyrics are frequently included in an email that has been circulating for several years under the title "Fwd: Favorite Things.” The text in the email reads:
"To commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1, actress/vocalist Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was "My Favourite Things" from the legendary movie "Sound Of Music." However, the lyrics of the song were deliberately changed for the entertainment of her "blue hair" audience....
[Lyrics appear here]
"Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes and repeated encores."
Unfortunately, this story is a hoax. Ms. Andrews (born 1935) never sang this song. However, for those of us who are experiencing some of the aches and pains described in these lyrics, this set of lyrics provides a moment or two of smiles, especially when we affirm the truth of the last two lines.
Source for hoax information: http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/music/a/andrews_aarp.htm

Additional details can be found at Snopes.com: http://www.snopes.com/humor/iftrue/andrews.asp

Print Page Return Home Page Close Window