Talks To The Children
Source: J. F. Kinsey and John McPherson, eds., Echoes Of Glory For The Sunday School. LaFayette, Indiana: The Echo Music Company, 1888.
Shildren, I like to talk mit you a leetle on two subjects. One subject vhas being good, und der odder subject vhas being badt. I suppose you haf heard of Sheorge Washington? He vhas an awful nice mans. Vhen he vhas a poy so high, he doan make no more troubles as a cat. He goes to ped in der dark und doan' make one kick. He doan' shteal nor tell stories, nor sheat some pody. One time he takes down his fadder's shotgun under kills a calf in der lot. His fadder comes home und sees dot calf und calls out in lou voice:
"Who vhas dot cut down my favorite sherry tree? Let der rascal shtand up!"
Dot leedle Sheorge he vhas awful scart, und his knees wobble like dis, und he wish he vhas deadt. But he vhas like some hero. He should tell der truth, und said:
"Fadder, I can't tell some stories. It vhas me, but I didn't know it vhas loaded."
"My son, come to my arms!" shpoke dot fadder, und he shed some tears und gif leedle Sheorge a nickle mit a hole in it. Dot vhas Sheorge Washington's start in life. Und der next Christmas olt Santa Claus put a leetle redt wagond in Sheorge's stockin, und he played horse in his mudder's garden, und runed over der schweet potato hills, und got scared und run away und proke down der gooseberry bushes, all to schmash.
He doan' tell a lie, und he get to be a great Sheneral und vhas President. You see if you vhas good you vhas sure to be rewarded. When you vhas leedle you vhas rewarded mit shweet-cake und white sugar; vhen you grow oop you haf a pig office und vhas called squire, und captain, und der fadder of your country. Dot vhas being good. I now tell you how it vas to be padt.
One time dere vhas a leedle poy named Horace Greely. It seemed like he vhas badt all oafer. If he plays marbles mit some poy he sheats him out of more ash ten dollar. He bites der school teacher in der leg and runs vhay, und befor he vhas ten years olt he shteals a water-mellon. One day he goes mit der Court for preaking a window, under der Shudge says:
"Horace, vhy did you do like dis?"
"Your Honor," replies dot poy, "I can not tell some stories. I vhas in Chicago vhen Shim Brown preaks dot glass!"
Dot vhas der beginning of his downward career. He goes to New York und starts a newspaber called der Tribune, und he invents a slang-word called "Go West," und he finally grows so badt dot he vhas called der olt man.
Now, shildren, you see der difference. If you like to be good it pays you two hoonered cents on der dollar. If you like to be badt you shall come to some awful end.
Der poy or girl who tries to be good alvhays, und mind shust vhat der fadder und mudder says to them, are the pooty ones dot olt Santa Claus vhil come to see, and vhil der stockings shust jam full of good tings.
This text is a verbatim copy of the original.
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